the sadness

You never know how ill you've been until you get well again. The last six weeks have been slow and while the process is far from over it feels like waking up. There are still hours in the day when the sadness comes especially at night and first thing but it doesn't soak into the bones or take the whole day. There's a more conscious more successful effort to fight the sadness. There's even happiness and relaxation albeit still lonely and unconfident.

The past two weeks of holiday were the happiest fortnight in over two years. It's like the sun coming up. Of course it's not an end of the problems of course there'll be difficult days. Of course barely seeing a former partner is painful especially when they've been your primary social contact. Of course it's no fun coming to work when you'd rather be writing, photographing, experimenting with short film but the negative side isn't all that's visible anymore.

Some of the photos taken over the last fortnight and more will be posted here in the next week or so. With a bit of luck there'll also be a link to a short film called not my home made up of stills and DV cut to a Skip James blues track Be Ready When He Comes. This will happen. There was a previous promise to do the same with a piece called Loss Movie but the quality was poor. The new film is better and only needs a little tweaking. If you've been told you'll get a copy then it'll be burned and sent to you in the next week. If you'd like a copy on DVD then get in touch. Otherwise keep an eye on the blog.

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