why bother?

Please don't read this wrong, I'd be first to say that no one owes me anything, and that my networking, interpersonal and self-promotion skills are limited, but…

I'm beginning to wonder whether I should even bother making my sounds, images and writing public anymore. With a few exceptions, for which I'm very grateful, the majority of work I put out there is ignored. A couple of views maybe, and perhaps the very occasional comment. I could get that just keeping things to myself, and it wouldn't require me to spend as much time on social media.

It's tiring and frustrating to be pretty much exactly where I was 27 years ago when I first started trying to put things out in public. Add in my own dissatisfaction with much of what I produce and the sense that no one's especially interested anyway and you can probably see where I'm coming from.


That's not to say that I'm planning to stop or even slow down the rate at which I publish stuff immediately. I might not do so even in the long run. However, the thought that it's a waste of time making work public brings me down from time to time and makes me feel I don't want to bother anymore.

Now, whether or not I continue publishing work isn't anyone else's business, and it would be entirely my own decision, but I thought I'd share how I sometimes feel. Especially as it's a feeling feeds frustration, a lack of confidence, a paradoxical and unhelpful reluctance to network and apply for opportunities, and sometimes an unwarranted and unfair resentment. All these things can affect my mood, and consequently how I present myself.

Again, I'm not owed anything, much of what I find frustrating are personal limitations, and I don't expect any response to this. I'm just explaining a feeling I think many people can relate to, perhaps partly as a way of just getting it off my chest and moving on. That said, if you think there's a general debate to be had around this, or if you have any tips for things you've found helpful then by all means leave a comment.