new poem - in the sun

in the sun

today i was walking and I didn't feel
like going home didn't feel
like going anywhere just wanted
to sit down on the pavement and i realised
most of what drives me is fear.

dreamt the dead came
out of darkness skulls painted
yellow red and blue
and told me life was too much effort -
turn your back on the light urchin.

i believed them. without love
maybe i should lie down
on this brick bridge wall
and wait to die. maybe
i should walk out to sea slowly
let my arms and legs get cold
and numb walk out till i don't know
where i am stumble
and drown.

remember calling from here but you'd already gone.


3-19apr6
mattdalby