mental health hour
I just wanted to expand on what I wrote in 'asperger syndrome or lonely and shy' about taking ownership. Partly because it wasn't as clear as I intended it to be, and partly because my thinking on this has been evolving over the last few days. I'll deal with it under a number of different headings, so I can focus more than anything.
the vines
There was an article in a recent NME on the The Vines. Their main man Craig Nicholl was diagnosed Asperger a couple of years back following extremely volatile behaviour on tour. The article itself was pretty good, but what really stuck in my mind was a throwaway gag. The writer talked about Nicholl's acceptance of his diagnosis, then went on to say something like "don't expect any songs called 'Dance of the Aspies' or 'Fuck the (Neurotypical) World". It was that sense of a potential militancy that started me thinking that even without a diagnosis I could accept those 'weirder' aspects of myself and stop trying to blend in with a neurotypical society that makes me feel immensely uncomfortable.
dyslexia etc
I have a friend with dyslexia, who as I understand it, stopped worrying so much about mediating it and allowed himself to go ahead and present his mistakes to the world. And it seems to have worked, to help make him more relaxed. I've seen similar things with people who stammer. This is what I meant when I talked about giving myself permission to be what I am.
For years I said (and meant) that if I could give up all my creativity and everything I'd ever written to be normal then I would. Well no longer.
dismantling
This partly leads on from the observations above, and was partly prompted by a counselling session. I described how I'd developed elaborate coping mechanisms and camouflages to help me blend in and mediate my more obssessional behaviours. It suddenly occurred to me that it might be far healthier to dismantle some of those strategies, especially where they simply make me tense, or cause me to present myself as something I'm not. And that's exactly what I intend to do. It will of course be a long process with a lot of difficulties and setbacks, but I'm pretty determined.
The advantage of this is that people will have to learn to accept me as I am, and not the persona I've previously chosen to present myself through. The differences initially won't seem to be that huge, although I ought to be more relaxed. As I often say, I'll keep you up to date with developments.
the vines
There was an article in a recent NME on the The Vines. Their main man Craig Nicholl was diagnosed Asperger a couple of years back following extremely volatile behaviour on tour. The article itself was pretty good, but what really stuck in my mind was a throwaway gag. The writer talked about Nicholl's acceptance of his diagnosis, then went on to say something like "don't expect any songs called 'Dance of the Aspies' or 'Fuck the (Neurotypical) World". It was that sense of a potential militancy that started me thinking that even without a diagnosis I could accept those 'weirder' aspects of myself and stop trying to blend in with a neurotypical society that makes me feel immensely uncomfortable.
dyslexia etc
I have a friend with dyslexia, who as I understand it, stopped worrying so much about mediating it and allowed himself to go ahead and present his mistakes to the world. And it seems to have worked, to help make him more relaxed. I've seen similar things with people who stammer. This is what I meant when I talked about giving myself permission to be what I am.
For years I said (and meant) that if I could give up all my creativity and everything I'd ever written to be normal then I would. Well no longer.
dismantling
This partly leads on from the observations above, and was partly prompted by a counselling session. I described how I'd developed elaborate coping mechanisms and camouflages to help me blend in and mediate my more obssessional behaviours. It suddenly occurred to me that it might be far healthier to dismantle some of those strategies, especially where they simply make me tense, or cause me to present myself as something I'm not. And that's exactly what I intend to do. It will of course be a long process with a lot of difficulties and setbacks, but I'm pretty determined.
The advantage of this is that people will have to learn to accept me as I am, and not the persona I've previously chosen to present myself through. The differences initially won't seem to be that huge, although I ought to be more relaxed. As I often say, I'll keep you up to date with developments.
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