the age of revolution
Sadly I haven't been able to preserve the formatting on this - but as soon as I figure it out it'll be put right.
the age of revolution
since my early teens i was interested in japanese and chinese language and culture.
but it was unexpected that my first lasting relationship
was with a chinese woman.
it affected me very strongly, and i've found since it finished that from time to time i have a powerful, undoubtedly
unhealthy, almost physical response to chinese women.
partly attraction, partly fear, partly something that wants to be mothered, and
recognises a comforting presence.
it's very disturbing.
but it doesn't mean i'm unhappy in my current relationship, far from it.
i believe it's healthier and more mature than my previous one, which i
entered when i was still pretty immature, though nearly thirty.
with my partner now i feel more secure, happier, and more inspired, and it appears to be mutual.
my main concern right now is with the effect these revelations might have on my partner.
i don't want her to feel in any
way unvalued, or as though she has no impact on my life; she does, and it is much more positive than previously.
it should also be
understood that my first love, as i thought it was, came in the context of my late learning of social skills, and an associated search for surrogate parent figures from whom i could learn.
mattdalby
3-6june4
the age of revolution
since my early teens i was interested in japanese and chinese language and culture.
but it was unexpected that my first lasting relationship
was with a chinese woman.
it affected me very strongly, and i've found since it finished that from time to time i have a powerful, undoubtedly
unhealthy, almost physical response to chinese women.
partly attraction, partly fear, partly something that wants to be mothered, and
recognises a comforting presence.
it's very disturbing.
but it doesn't mean i'm unhappy in my current relationship, far from it.
i believe it's healthier and more mature than my previous one, which i
entered when i was still pretty immature, though nearly thirty.
with my partner now i feel more secure, happier, and more inspired, and it appears to be mutual.
my main concern right now is with the effect these revelations might have on my partner.
i don't want her to feel in any
way unvalued, or as though she has no impact on my life; she does, and it is much more positive than previously.
it should also be
understood that my first love, as i thought it was, came in the context of my late learning of social skills, and an associated search for surrogate parent figures from whom i could learn.
mattdalby
3-6june4
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